Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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