Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
