i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
