It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
