I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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