Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
