Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
