Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize