I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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