What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
