why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Boobs speak an international language.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
