The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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