I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
