So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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