It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize