Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
