She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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