at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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