fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize