Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
