It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
