OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
