wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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