you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
