Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize