so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize