I molested 6 butterflies tonight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
