someone owes me an orgasm
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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