it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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