I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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