just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
