Well apparently he's into motor boating.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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