hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
