her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
