Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
