i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
