We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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