white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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