I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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