Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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