I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize