dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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