the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
