I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
