I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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