Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
