mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I forget how to act sober
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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