it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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