THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
