Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
