I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
