This girl is more easily done than said...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
