She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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