All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
