I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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