How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
