my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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