This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Terrible idea I love it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
