Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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