I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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