Don't you send me to vm
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
