finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
