What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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