Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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