like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
