i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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