So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
4 words: hood of his car
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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