He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I just sharted jello shots
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